Counseling Program News
In June, our counseling program focuses on Personal Safety. That means all students will have a lesson from the counselors on an age appropriate topic that will help to keep them safe. Here is an excellent article on Personal Safety from Kidpower.
What Adults Need to Know About Personal Safety for Children by Irene van der Zande
1. Personal safety means keeping your feelings and body safe
if people act thoughtless, mean, scary, or dangerous.
Personal safety means being in charge of yourself so that
you act safely towards others.
2. Violence against young people is a leading health issue
of our time.
A study about violence against children entitled “Children’s
Violence: A Comprehensive National Study” was released by the U.S. Department
of Justice in 2009. According to the study director and director of the
University of New Hampshire Crimes Against Children Research Center, David
Finkelhor, Pd.D., “Children experience far more violence, abuse and crime than
do adults. If life were this dangerous for ordinary grown-ups, we’d never
tolerate it.” The study found that over 60% of the children surveyed were
exposed either directly or indirectly to some form of violence in the last
3. Most of the people who harm children are NOT strangers.
According to the National Victims Center, 95% of sexual
abuse happens with people children know. Of these, one third are family members
– stepparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, siblings, grandparents and parents. Two
thirds are other people known to the child – neighbors, youth group leaders,
teachers, other children, religious leaders and friends. Experts estimate that
one in three girls and one in four boys will be sexually abused before they are
eighteen years old.
4. Molesters will often spend up to a year cultivating a
trusting relationship with a family, a school, a religious community, or a
group of friends before they make their first move.
They will often start by systematically creating an
emotional connection with a child, pushing the child’s boundaries and ensuring
that the child won’t tell before they do anything that is sexual. This means
that children who have skills for setting boundaries and getting help are less
likely to be targeted by a molester.
5. Federal agencies estimate that there are 100,000 attempted
abductions by strangers each year in the United States. About 2,000 children a
year are kidnapped by strangers.
Although this is important for adults to know, it is not
healthy for children to believe that the world is full of dangerous people called
“strangers.” Instead adults can tell children that most people are good but, if
we do not know them well, there are safety rules to follow.
6. One out of seven school children have either been
victimized by bullying or have bullied others.
Most children have witnessed bullying. Bullying is harmful.
Adults are responsible for noticing all forms of bullying and for taking action
to make it against the rules.
7. Just telling children about the bad things that might
happen makes them anxious.
Coaching children so they can be successful in actually
practicing skills helps them to become more confident and capable.
8. Young children are very literal, and we need to be sure
that they understand what we mean.
Telling children, “Never talk to a stranger” is untrue
because we ask them to greet people they see as strangers all the time. Telling
children, “Never let anyone touch your private areas” is also untrue because it
is normal for adults to pat children, pick them up, and help them stay clean and
healthy. This is why Kidpower focuses on using language that is clear,
truthful, consistent, and positive.
9. Adults need to provide ongoing supervision to ensure the
safety of the children in their lives and to keep LISTENING to children.
However, it is also important that children learn how to
protect themselves by knowing their safety rules and following their safety
plans. Most kidnappings can be prevented if children are able to be aware, move
away from someone they don’t know, and check first with their adult. Most
sexual abuse and most bullying can be prevented if children can set personal
boundaries and be ask for help. Most assaults can be stopped if children yell
and run to safety when they are scared.
10. Kidpower brings self protection and confidence to people
of all ages and abilities.
Workshops can prepare adults to help children learn how to
use their own power to stay safe. For more information, visit the web page at
College & Career Readiness
In May, our school counseling program is
focusing on College and Career Readiness. That means that all Nottingham Knights will
learn about postsecondary opportunities and careers in their classroom lessons with the counselors. Elementary
school is the perfect time for kids to start learning about careers because we
know that children perform better in school if they understand how education
affects their futures.
In elementary school, school counselors
focus on career awareness and personal exploration. We help students:
o Understand the connection between school and the world of work
o Discover the broad range of occupations available
o Connect the learning in school to situations in the real world
o Start to picture themselves as workers
o Develop their work-readiness skills, or the “soft skills”, that all jobs
require like working in groups, organizational skills, problem solving, and
At Nottingham, our Kindergarteners learn
about workers in our school. First grade Knights explore the tools associated
with a variety of occupations. Second graders delve into the six career paths.
In third grade, students revisit the six career paths and make connections
between play, school, and careers. Fourth graders learn about jobs long ago,
jobs today, and jobs of the future. Fifth grade Knights explore their personal
strengths and career goals.
Parents can help their children learn
about a variety of careers and how their educations connect with future jobs. For
example, you can talk about how veterinarians use math to calculate the amount
of medicine animals need, fire fighters need to be good at working in groups,
and video game designers must have good writing skills and the ability to
accept constructive feedback. More tips from America’s Career Resource Network are
How to Talk to Your Child about Careers
Relate your child's interests to adult activities. For example:
- If your child likes art,
discuss how adults use art to design houses, clothing, magazine ads, movie
sets and even toys. Explain that people also use art when they draw
cartoons, arrange flowers, or take photos for magazines and books.
- If your child likes to be
outdoors, talk about outdoor careers like landscape architecture,
forestry, archaeology, construction work, marine biology and commercial
- If your child is very
social, discuss how people who like to talk and work with people may
choose to work as a teacher, a lawyer, a customer service representative,
a receptionist, a hotel manager or a convention planner.
- If your child likes to
help people, talk about different ways he or she can do that in a
career such as nursing, medicine, athletic training, family counseling or
- If your child loves math,
you may want to talk to him or her about becoming an accountant, a
computer programmer, an engineer or a statistician. You should also remind
your child that almost all careers use basic math, so it is a very
- If your child likes to
keep others safe, talk to him or her about a career as a police
officer, a forensic scientist, a detective, an investigator, a parole
officer, a security guard or a bailiff.
Bullying Awareness, Prevention and Intervention
Our theme for classroom lessons this month is bullying awareness, prevention, and intervention. In kindergarten and grade 1 we focus primarily what bullying is and what it is not. We also introduce the need to report all bullying to a trusted adult. In grade 2 we begin to introduce the school-wide formal definition of bullying from the Steps to Respect program developed by the Committee for Children. Bullying is unfair and one-sided. It happens when someone keeps hurting, frightening, threatening, or leaving someone out on purpose. In grade 2 we talk about bullying as being a big deal when a person or group or being mean on purpose more than once. In grades 3-5 we focus on the role of the helpful bystander or "upstander" in preventing and responding to bullying. In the upper grades we also talk about bullying with technology.
How to Help Anxious Children
Anxiety is normal and useful until it becomes excessive and detrimental. If your child is worrying too much you can establish a set "worry time." Depending on your child's age this could be scheduled for 10-20 minutes early each evening. During the worry time you will be available to discuss your child's worried thoughts and scared feelings. When your child brings up a worry any other time, postpone by saying I will be glad to discuss that during worry time if it is still bothering you then. Being able to postpone worry is a powerful tool that will allow your child to gain control over the automatic negative thoughts that are feeding his/her anxiety.
There are 2 cautions for parents: 1) don't over reassure; and 2) don't let your child avoid the thing/person/event/etc. that is causing the anxiety. Instead parents need to help the child develop tools to cope with anxiety in a positive way. For more assistance check out one of the books below, borrow one of the Family Resource Packs on this topic, or make an appointment to see one of the school counselors, the school psychologist, or school social worker.
For more information:
Anxiety-Free Kids, by Zucker, offers parents strategies that help children become happy and worry free, methods that relieve a child's excessive anxieties and phobias, and tools for fostering interaction and family-oriented solutions.
You and Your Anxious Child, by Albano, has moving case studies and brings much-needed hope to families, helping them shape a positive new vision of the future.
Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, by Chansky, shares a proven approach for helping children build emotional resilience for a happier and healthier life. This book was revised in 2014.
Our theme for classroom lessons taught by the counselors this month is kindness. Nottingham will be participating in Random Acts of Kindness Week February 9-15 (For more information see https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/rak-week). The main message of the lesson is being kind makes the giver happy, the receiver happy, and even those witnessing the acts of kindness occurring happy. In the lessons we encourage the students to express gratitude and show kindness to people who do things for them every day (examples, the custodians, cafeteria workers, bus drivers, teachers, etc.). In the older grades we discuss compassion which is acting on empathy be showing kindness. In fifth grade we link kindness and integrity. Please model and encourage your child to spread kindness - there is a ripple effect to a single act of kindness.
Creating More Realistic Gift Expectations For Your Child
from the American Counseling Association
The holiday season is a time of giant expectations for young children. Kids face enormous marketingrts from every front about the toys they “must have” this year.
Even adults get affected by all the advertising. We may find ourselves fantasizing about football games on
that giant screen TV, or looking great in that new sports car.
Of course, as adults, we usually can put such fantasies aside as we remind ourselves that our lives have
limits. But for a young child, it’s much harder to accept parents' practical decisions and budget limitations.
That fantasy about how much better that “hot” new toy will make his or her life is very real.
This happens because young children have the ability to move from reality to fantasies and dreams much
more easily than adults. Our life experience has taught us that allowing dreams to run wild for too long
increases our chances for disappointment when we face the reality of our everyday lives.
But kids are programmed to spend a lot more time in their fantasy worlds and to see all their dreams as
realities that are possible. It’s all part of normal human development. This ability to play and imagine is the
root of creativity.
Belief that a particular toy will help them live out their fantasy is very strong for young children. Your
adult reasons why their request can’t be met will have little meaning or impact. Saying, “That toy is too
expensive” may just make the child cling harder to the fantasy of how wonderful it would be to have it.
Rather than fighting the request, try allowing your child to enjoy the fantasy by showing you understand.
Saying, “That really does look like a great toy,” or asking “What do you like about that toy?” or “What would
you do if you had it?” allows the child to keep the dream alive without your giving in to the demand or just
By not resisting the fantasy you allow your child to return to reality at his or her own pace, and you avoid
feeling guilty or being responsible for a broken dream. Then, when the passion for the toy is not as high, try
having a calm discussion about why getting that particular toy is not a good decision. Your goal is to bring
your child back to realistic expectations slowly but surely.
"Counseling Corner" is provided by the American Counseling Association. Comments and questions to
ACAcorner@counseling.org or visit the ACA website at www.counseling.org
Extracurricular Activities for Elementary-School Students
After School Activities Can Relieve Stress
Children enrolled in elementary school can usually handle around
two to four activities per week depending on the child. You may be able to find a variety of
activities to choose from, depending on your child's interests. Below is
a list of some extracurricular activities for elementary students.
- Sports. Enrolling your child in sports-related activities,
including dance, soccer, basketball, softball, and a host of other
activities, will obviously help your child engage in physical exercise.
Participating in physical exercise will help her alleviate stress, build
self-esteem, and stay physically healthy. Additionally, your child can
learn to be part of a team and learn the attributes that a good teammate
- Music. Students that take music lessons for a year increase their IQ
an average of two points over students who do not, as reported in the
Monitor of Psychology. Children will also learn valuable time management
skills as they learn to juggle practice sessions, not only at school,
but at home.
- Martial Arts. Children who study martial arts, whether it is karate
or tae kwon do, learn mental and physical discipline. Martial arts
promote physical wellness through building muscles, coordination, and
balance. On the other hand, mental stability may be achieved through
breathing and energy manipulation exercises that are often an important
part of martial arts training.
- Volunteering. You and your child can volunteer at a community
organization that she believes in. This will help your child understand
that everyone can make a difference, no matter her age. Your child will
also learn that she is part of a larger community and that everyone
should lend their support and help to a cause they believe in.
- Nottingham's own after school enrichment classes.
Now is the time to start figuring out what after school activities would best suit your child(ren).
Adapted from http://www.kidpointz.com/parenting-articles/elementary-school/extracurricular-activities/view/extracurricular-activities-elementary-school-students